some people are so good looking it takes a lot for me not to take my clothes off and rub against them

i hate being ignored but at the same time i dont like being in social situations and i have no idea what to do

litterally the main thing that runs through my mind is

“im not pretty enough” or “im not skinny enough” and its making me pissed

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i laugh alone in my room too much…

my goal was to lose weight so that:

•I can crowd surf at warped
•fit into a nice two piece bathing suit
•not my worry about looking fat or huge in t-shirts
•fit into all my pants
•attract a guy
•so i can not cry in fitting rooms

but I failed so ima just go in a cave lay face down and die

I didn’t take my nap today…
I don’t know how ima make it through my night class

is it strange I get turned on by guys who drive a big pickup truck?

everyone’s laughing now when I say ima never get married and be alone but no one’s gunna be laughing when it comes true and I’m 50 and my only roommates are a dozen hairless cats.

•I’ve gained weight
•I still can’t get a job
•I haven’t started on my English paper.
all I want is junk food and to cry

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i dont ever plan on having kids or want kids but wouldnt mind having one so i can take them to like concerts and dress them up in band merch or cute outfits and have them look all adorable and dance with them while bands play and take them to meet band members…..

is there any place where i can rent a kid when a concert comes around?

and to add on top of my crap day, i saw my ex (aka first and only guy i have ever dated) and he saw me and totally avoided me which made me feel guilty because i thought we left of on  good terms…but oh wel

•I’m at least a week behind in my class work
•I’m sure the pain in my chest earlier was me having a minor heart attack
•I’m covered from head to toe in some weird rash/hives
•I can’t even wash my dam dishes cuz apparently I’m allergic to the dish soap
•it’s almost 11pm & I’m barley eating dinner which is past and bread so now ima gain weight